


MIGHTY LOVE NOODLE

by styyxx



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A6A4, Act Six Act Four, Established Relationship, Jake is very silly, M/M, Roxy Lalonde's Amazing Relationship Advice!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styyxx/pseuds/styyxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TG: have you and distri danced the buttock jig<br/>TG: the rumble inthe jugnle<br/>TG: the funky chiken<br/>TG: hav u touhched his ninja rod roflf<br/>GT: Egad!! Roxy i can assure you my fingers have gone nowhere near mr striders crotchal vicinity!! *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts*</p>
            </blockquote>





	MIGHTY LOVE NOODLE

**Author's Note:**

> this is just very silly

GT: I accidently dropped my guns so in the end i had to fight the skeletal rapscallion with nothing but my bare fists!!! It was incredibly exciting and i must say im becoming quite the skilled wrestler.  
GT: Dirk also says ive been improving but of course thats very much thanks to him as weve taken the habit of getting into friendly fisticuffs a lot lately!  
TG: ‘friendly fistticufs” he says.....  
TG: lmoa  
TG: sooooooooo jakeyyyy.....  
TG: i was wonderin.....  
TG: hows teh dirk thign goin ;))))  
GT: Oh my... *loosens collar a bit.*  
TG: i wanna kno aaaaall the jucy details  
TG: *juicy  
TG: have u bois done the frickle frackel yet ;))))  
GT: Um... *fumbles for kerchief.*  
GT: Im not entirely sure i understand what youre trying to ask me here miss lalonde. *looks around nervously.*  
TG: lol jaje you cant just act all naiive n then roleplya actions that imply u kno exatctly what im askin ya  
TG: have you and distri danced the buttock jig  
TG: the rumble inthe jugnle  
TG: the funky chiken  
TG: hav u touhched his ninja rod roflf  
GT: Egad!! Roxy i can assure you my fingers have gone nowhere near mr striders crotchal vicinity!! *wrings at kerchief with perspiring mitts*  
TG: spoilspot :(  
TG: *sport  
TG: btu have you guys made out and shit  
TG: lol wait yuo dont have to answr that ive seen u make out with dirk  
TG: or shoudl i say ive seen dirk  
TG: give u head ;)  
GT: Now roxy i would be very grateful if you refrained from alluding to that specific incident since having to kiss my best bros severed noggin is not something i *particularly* enjoy thinking about...  
GT: Honestly im still rather upset over that.  
TG: soz i wont talk abtou the headsnog anymore then  
TG: from now on im miss zuiperpips when it comes to any sort of hyptotheitcal head smooching that mite or mite not haev hapened betweeen u and any heads  
TG: *typos  
GT: I appreciate it!  
TG: but dont think ur escaping this subject mister!!!1  
TG: you have kissed dick right  
TG: LMAO *DIRK  
GT: ...Yes i assumed that was a typo but just for the record my cakehole hasnt approached dirks you-know-what either.  
TG: ur cake hole? what abtou your other hole huh wonkwnoknwink  
GT: ROXY!!! *gropes for fresh kerchief.*  
TG: looolo im on fire today  
TG: but enough jokes habve you kissed him or not  
GT: ...Me and strider kissing is something that has happened plenty of times yes.  
TG: jus t kissig or like the full makeout  
GT: Its gotten quite heated up a few times... *glasses fog up.*  
GT: A gentleman doesnt kiss and tell though!  
TG: thats bullshigt since u just told and i still think yore one hell of a gentleman mr english P*swoosns* <3  
TG: u can keep spilling the beans now ;)  
TG: is making out teh furtest you 2 hav gone  
TG: no inapoppiate curious teenage touchin’??wonwkon  
TG: *inappropritate  
TG: dirk is an ass man i dotn think he could resist your fleshy globes jakye  
TG: has he touced the butt  
GT: ...  
TG: omggmgggomg he ttly touched the butt  
GT: I cant say this relationship has been completely devoid of butt touches no.  
TG: im wonkign so hard rite now my eye lids already hurt  
TG: haeve u touched his butt as well  
GT: Jesus christmas roxy dont you think this is a tad too much information?  
TG: gogmgmogmo lol u tottly haveeee  
GT: *Loosens collar.*  
TG: so let me gte this clear youve touched his butt but not his throbbing meat wand  
GT: Yeah theres been some mutual hand-on-bottom contact but thats the furthest our sexual relations have gone.  
TG: woooooooo im so proud of you jaje  
TG: proprely wooing yor man with subtle bootytouching :’)  
TG: the neext step is... some metaphorcal swordfightig  
TG: *meta fork lol  
GT: Golly... Do you think were ready to take our physical relations to the next level?  
TG: thats up to you jakey  
TG: dont do anyfing ure not comfortable with ofc  
TG: but if you feel ready then go ahead !!! im p . sure dirk has been ready for like 5 years lol  
GT: Gosh i dont think id be opposed to a development in that direction?  
GT: But how do you suggest i approach this subject with dirk? How should i demonstrate my desire to progress with our experimentations in sexual intercourse?  
TG: just go up to him liek with a super serious face  
TG: like u mean all srs bizness  
TG: and say  
TG: dirk........ touch my schlongdoodle.......  
TG: he ll just swoon rigtht into your arms while his flacid love truncheon awakes  
TG: jusut like in the fics  
GT: Cripes roxy i know dirk is my paramour but wouldnt that be a little too forward of me?  
TG: lmao jake pleaaaase do you rly think dirk woudl mind if you were “”””too fotward”“””  
TG: it wuld probbably only contribute to the stiffnefning of his growing member  
GT: You know im all about adventure and bravery but regardless of my eagerness i dont know if i have it in me to go up to him and make a lewd statement such as the one you suggested in a bold and appealing way for frigs flippin sake!  
TG: you woudltn even have to be bold and appaling you could say it in the most unsexy of ways and it would still work on dork  
TG: he cant resist your manly charms jakester  
TG: no one can :/  
GT: Oh my... *fumbles for kerchief.*  
TG: but i was mainly jokin when i told u to make the aformentionged lewd staement  
TG: *aforementioned  
TG: you dot even have to say anythig  
TG: just the next time ur getting ur mack on and its gettin heated loook him in the poity shades like in a realyly meaaaningful way and hell understand what ure feelin  
TG: heell look into your verdant emeralnd eye and understand...  
TG: that you want his mighty love nododle  
TG: *noodle  
GT: I think i prefer that idea it doesnt sound as challenging as telling him straight away that i would fancy him touching my unmentionables...  
TG: ok then just make sure that thelook you give him is reaaaallyyyyy meaningful  
TG: maybe throw in a wonk or two 2 b exxtra clear  
GT: Do not fear miss! My peepers will speak with such passionate eloquence strider wont even know what hit him!  
TG: look whos so eager now hehe youre all gung-ho to the max about this mr engligsh  
GT: All thanks to the sensational advice you gave me roxy!  
GT: Oh i think i hear dirk approaching hes probably finished his usual perimeter check.  
GT: I think ill engage him and perhaps suggest a round of fisticuffs. Thats usually how the snogging begins most times.  
TG: go get em tiger!!!!  
TG: i want all the details after the deed is done  
TG: also jake one more thing  
TG: if you end up having to mention your love sausage trynot to use words like “unmentiomables” lol  
GT: Ill keep that in mind!  
TG: good luck n have fun ;)  
golgothasTerror [GT] stopped pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

  


End file.
